God forbid that we should see the family traditions of Russia, senseless and merciless
Strange, crazy, ridiculous… One can go through the epithets for a very long time to describe the family traditions of Russia. Just from the “baking” of a premature baby, you become uncomfortable. Of course, the stove was barely warm, no one was really going to finish a baby that was “not cooked” in the womb. It was just an innocent ritual by which they tried to burn away diseases. In the dough in which the child was wrapped, left holes for the nose. So everything was safe… Probably. It’s a good thing that now no one will tie a child to a bread shovel and, as according to Baba Yaga’s behest, send him to the oven. And what other outlandish traditions were there in Russia? We will tell you in this article.
Frightening a woman in labor
Continuing the topic of motherhood, we can recall a rather strangethe tradition of frighteningwomen in labor. In Russia, it was believed that a woman would be able to give birth faster if she was frightened. Therefore, they tried to frighten her in every possible way: with unexpected knocking, screaming, noise. The woman in labor was also advised to chew on her braids or put her fingers in her mouth to provoke vomiting.
Another interesting detail. It was extremely rare, but it still happened. In some areas, the husband may have been present at the birth. He shouted loudly instead of his wife in order to divert the attention of the evil spirits to himself.
Marriage
TraditionBride’s WatchShe helped her future mother-in-law choose the perfect wife for her son. A proven and reliable option was a white girl with a wide pelvis and pink cheeks. In such a one, a hardy mother and a good housewife were immediately guessed. Slender girls were immediately dismissed as unfit. Also, the health of the chosen one was checked at the review. Any wounds, bruises, scratches, and even a runny nose could ruin the engagement.
The bride’s white wedding gown, which today is associated with celebration and innocence, used to symbolize death. It was considered a funerary one, as our ancestors believed that a girl, becoming a wife, is reborn. And in order to be reborn, she has to die. Hence the custom of mourning the bride. The ransom rite is also part of the initiation. With its help, the groom tried to find the bride in the afterlife.
An interesting fact: in the past, an Orthodox person could marry no more than 3 times, the 4th was considered adultery, even if the bride and groom were a widower and a widow. A priest who violated this postulate was defrocked. The marriage was immediately annulled.
Paterfamilias
In the times of pagan Russia, men and women were socially equal. With the advent of Christianity, the man became the head of the family, and the woman took a subordinate position. Church canons enjoined her to obey her husband in everything. If before marriage the girl’s life was managed by her father, then after that it was her husband. Even to go out of the gate, she had to ask his permission. It was forbidden for a woman to show herself to strangers, especially men. If she dared to speak to a stranger or a neighbor, Inevitable punishment awaited her. She was not even allowed to look into the eyes of a male guest.
By the way, flogging one’s wife was the norm and even a kind of hotly guarded tradition. “Domostroy” taught how to properly admonish a disobedient spouse. He advised to bring up a woman in such a way that no one would hear her screams. He allowed her to be beaten with a whip and whip, but not with heavy objects. It was necessary to whip “without anger”, “painful, but reasonable”. It is advisable not to touch the eyes and ears.
Love affairs
Curiously, before the adoption of Christianity, our ancestors did not care much about chastity. They simply didn’t see the value in it. Two traditions were born from these ideas: “sin of the dump” and “gaskey”. The first is associated with festivities on holidays that ended with carnal pleasures. For example, on the night of Ivan Kupala Girls and boys jumped over bonfires, danced, searched for flowering ferns in the forest, and indulged in consensual lovemaking. The birth of illegitimate children did not frighten anyone, they were always welcome. The second tradition is also related to entertainment without obligation. Young people gathered in the hut and lit candles. While they were burning, everyone was singing and dancing, and at nightfall, the young people gave themselves to each other.
Christianity put an end to this debauchery. The bodily senses have been declared to be a sin to which Satan himself pushes. Intimacy was considered a duty, the purpose of which was not pleasure, but the conception of a child. Therefore, the church tried to regulate this aspect of the life of parishioners very strictly. Not only did it determine when it was permissible to make love, but it also described what was and was not. Any deviation from the rules threatened the sinner with punishment in the form of fasting, repentance, or even excommunication. Parishioners were required to abstain during Christian feasts and fasts. Friday, Saturday and Sunday were also banned. It was not recommended to attend church on the day of marital duty. During intimacy, the spouses took off their baptismal crosses and hung icons.
Permissible Daughter-in-Law
In the context of the stigmatization of sexual life, the tradition of permissible daughter-in-law looks rather ridiculous. In Russia, this was the name given to the intimate relationship between a father-in-law and a daughter-in-law. Of course, no one talked about it openly, it was always hidden. On the one hand, it was frowned upon, but it was not considered to be the result of the devil’s intrigues. In what cases was this phenomenon considered acceptable?
In Russia, it was not uncommon for 12-13-year-old boys to marry girls who were several years older than them. And while the mustachioed husbands were catching up with their sexually mature wives, their fathers were taking upon themselves the conjugal duty and instructing the daughters-in-law. Also, the “elder” could show signs of attention to a girl if his son was taken as a recruit or if he went to work for six months. Left without the protection of her husband, the girl had to endure the harassment of her father-in-law. If she resisted, she got the hardest work.
Infidelity and divorce
Despite the strict prohibitions of the church, our ancestors could not give up fornication. And so they came up with their own rules that could justify their actions. So, for example, having an affair with someone else’s wife was condemned, but with an unmarried girl it was not, it was quite acceptable. But if the latter gave birth to a child out of wedlock, the matter took a much more serious turn. However, the shame fell on the girl’s shoulders. It was her fence that was tarred not the fence of a frivolous lover. The man got off only with a fine in favor of the church. While the girl was shamed and disgraced by all the neighbors. A married traitor was flogged, forced to fast, or exiled to a monastery. The injured husband could divorce her, or he could allow her to return. In the latter case, he had every right not to neglect the advice of Domostroy.
In general, divorce was not encouraged by the church. Even under the most objective circumstances, spouses had to endure and humble themselves. However, a man was allowed to divorce if his wife was incapable of procreation. A woman was given the same indulgence if her husband went missing, went to work and did not return. Although, of course, it is worth remembering about the permissible daughter-in-law…